28 notes
A Day in the Life of a Cat
The Cat’s Diary:
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an Attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and Snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously Retarded.
The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the Guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an Elevated Cell, so he is safe.
For now.
I know it’s an old post. But I had to reblog this, it made me laugh really hard.
-
renoreturns liked this
-
linnylinh liked this
-
hippobythesea reblogged this from ljarvz
-
ljarvz reblogged this from slice and added:
This is why I enjoy cats.
-
talenmoe liked this
-
livefreediefree reblogged this from livejamie
-
whoyougonnacall liked this
-
unicornpox reblogged this from slice
-
kristinmick reblogged this from livejamie and added:
assassinate them....didn’t realize
-
elt reblogged this from livejamie and added:
made me laugh really hard.
-
hoitycoity reblogged this from livejamie and added:
course loved Oliver...wussy doofus, which is...my love. In...
-
michee reblogged this from livejamie
-
c0wb0yz reblogged this from livejamie
-
caz reblogged this from livejamie
-
mischadehart reblogged this from livejamie
-
microwalrus reblogged this from livejamie
-
joedonh reblogged this from livejamie and added:
I’m re-blogging because this is a falsity. I have a dog that...original content doesn’t...
-
katrina reblogged this from livejamie
-
livejamie posted this
